G.I. JOE Is Really Bad

I had a chance to take a look at G.I. JOE, which comes out on DVD and Blu-Ray November 3rd. I just have to say I really did give this movie a chance. I can tell you now after I watched it that I can understand why back when the movie first came out that the Director Stephen Sommers did not want critics to have an early view.

Between the awful casting and the lame corkscrew phrases from the original show. I can’t think of one decent casting call in the whole debacle. Sienna Miller would have been great as The Barrenness if there had not been the awkward twist at the end of the story. Before I seen the movie I had high hopes for Dennis Quaid as General Hawk. The I heard him say the one thing that I hoped would not make it into the movie. “Knowing is half the battle.” WoW! He really said it. That’s just one of the awful things that make this movie a bad bad thing to watch.

One of the things that I was most curious about was how they would pull off Cobra Commander. Well, the answer was simple. They didn’t. When he talks he sounds like some some sort of over acted porn star infomercial host. Really. The story on the other hand is not that bad at all. It makes for a good JOE story as well as a good story to an action movie. Well, until you reach the end and it kind of gets soft. The CG is decent enough. Big explosions and crazy scenes and weapons. All the elements are there and I think they could have been done nicely, but I think the movie had 2 very large problems.

The first being the director they chose to direct. Stephen Sommers (The Mummy) just did not do a good job. The second thing is that the script and cast as well as much of the movie was put together during the writers strike. I really think that the movie was doomed from the get go. The only reason I would ever see a sequel in the future would be just to capitalize off the money that the franchise brings in.

As a child that grew up watching this cartoon as well as reading the comics I hated the movie. If you where not a fan of the series then I’m sure the movie will/was entertaining for you. If you have any connection to what G.I. JOE used to be, save yourself the anger and don’t bother with the 119 minutes it takes to sit through it.

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Author: Eric Baumgardner View all posts by
I operate this site. I also have been gaming for 23 years. I am an Xbox LIVE Ambassador and an Xbox Community Xpert. Need anything find me on Twitter @junegore or email me at junegore@jgghgames.com